I am not sure what to do.
I know that I want to be married.
I know what Justin did was horrible.
I know that if my best friend were
Going through something similar
I would tell her to do what makes
Her happy, but in the back of my mind
Be screaming; “tell him to kick rocks”
And still I talk to him.
Still I long to be next to him.
He is my husband.
I never knew that you could feel so many
Different emotions about a person.
I love him, I hate him, I wish him nothing
But the best, I hope he fails at every last thing
That he touches, I dream of babies with him,
I hope that he’s never able to reproduce with
Anyone but me, half the time I am so confused,
I don’t know whether to sit or stand, walk or jog.